Hello there, nice to meet you.

Today we had our big ultrasound visit. Ave was able to come, even though he usually has school. His classes aren't normally something he can miss either, but with the semester winding down he had a couple hours leeway. It would have worked out without him, but it would not have been quite the same to call him afterwards. My dad was also invited to meet us, considering he works in the same hospital, and is UBER excited to get to see his first grandbaby any chance he gets. Plus he's handy to have around if I have any questions.
We got to see a lot of lovely photos as they examined each one of the organs. Starting with the head, brain, heart, stomach, and so forth. Everything looked so perfect. Two kidneys, four ventricles, and 10 toes. Okay, we couldn't quite count the toes, but the little picture of just the tiny feet was adorable. Of course being the nerd I am, I was fascinated. I could spot the two brain hemispheres, I thought it cool to be able to see the aorta, and just watching my child moving around the whole time up on the screen was a beautiful, happy moment.
Everything looks really healthy and keeping at my 19 week mark, ever since my doctor bumped me back a week. My amniotic fluid apparently wasn't superb but nothing to worry about unless it gets lower. I'll have to research how I would be able to tell... hmmmm. All in all, nothing to add to my worries of becoming a mother.

Then came the true question. The one we have been fighting with this kid for weeks to cooperate. First crossing it's legs, then bouncing around like my insides were a bouncy castle, then just having no insight yet. I became concerned when the ultrasound tech was struggling and telling my child to open it's legs. Not something a mother usually wants to hear, but in this case I agreed. His supervisor, the Radiologist I think, who had been helping/training him the whole time stepped in and started mashing around. I could tell when they would get right over the head because I could feel something really hard all of sudden, when usually I'm all squishy. Not that it's comfortable to have your bladder smashed, but it isn't as hard as a rock. With still no success and Avery starting to say evil things, like that we would be leaving today without knowing, I offered to get up and jump around a little bit. I poked at my belly and told my baby to cooperate. Do not be stubborn today of all days! I also said a teensy prayers. God understands a mother's concern, He does not mock. The radiologist still scanning mentioned maybe he will have me get up for a minute, when all of sudden he freezes a frame. My dad makes a comment I don't entirely understand (jargon) and the doctor starts typing.

After the first sentence I was spouting some exclamations such as: Holy crap!No way!What are we going to do? He had heard us the whole time; how I was for sure it was a boy, we kind of wanted a boy, and so forth. So to be honest I didn't quite believe him. Hence the added line. He was a very nice and funny man who gave us some great advice and opinions on girls.
Clearing out the ideas of swords and balls and bugs out my imagination, suddenly tutus and dance classes and shoes and hair bows came pouring in, and I got very excited. I could not stop grinning. I am not dissapointed in the least. Just in shock. I really did not think having a girl was in the cards for us. With my three brothers and Ave's four, testosterone was bound to win out. But NO!!!
My father is estatic, I was always a daddy's girl. Ave was a little nervous. Mostly because the dollar signs started flashing in his head when I started naming all the cute things I could buy for our daughter. He also still has it in his mind he can still be firm with a daughter. Pshaw! That man is going to melt like butter. It'll be good for him. I told him little girls are much more emotional and he is not allowed to make our's cry everyday. He's going to have to get in touch with his sensitive side. Hahahaha. It's going to be great.

My beautiful baby girl. I am so excited to get to know you.
Even if you do make me nervous.

A Thank You

Dear Incident Management Man,

I forgot to ask your name. I'm sorry. You had reddish sort of hair and a scruffy face, and a nice smile. You already know that my tire blew out on I-15. You probably know better than anyone that that can be a little scary getting over to the emergency lane without losing control, and then trying to change a tire with cars zooming by at 60+ miles an hour. I was at least proud of myself that I knew how to change the tire, in theory. I had my jack out and my spare tire uncovered. Before you pulled up and found me, I had in fact attempted to loosen the lug nuts, but they were just too tight for my little biceps/my entire weight jumping on the wrench to come off. I had just finished calling my co-worker to come pick me up of the side of the freeway when you came to my rescue. You probably deal with alot of silly women who don't know how to change a tire, which I assume is why you asked me if I had a spare. I told you hurriedly I had everything I just couldn't get the tire off. Then you told me you would change it for me. I almost cried. You probably couldn't see my 3 month pregnant belly underneath my scrubs, you probably couldn't tell my blood pressure had risen exponentially in the past 15 minutes with the fear of being killed while kneeling next to my tire, you also probably couldn't tell that I had patients scheduled in 5 minutes, who in my line of work, do not wait. You just offered to help, as I'm sure you always do. You proceeded to jack up my car and take out my spare, then testing it you informed me you would go put a little more air in it. I had to hold my hands behind my back to keep me from hugging you. You removed the lug nuts with your handheld rotary, which made me feel like less of a wuss, if you still had to use a machine to loosen them, it wasn't just me. So thank you for that unspoken validation as well. With my spare tire safely back on and the rest of my car returned to solid ground you then offered one last piece of advice, use the shoulder to get my speed back up safely. I wasn't sure what was customary in these incidents, I briefly made a mental check if I had cash in my wallet to tip you with, just a couple ones, not enough. Is that even allowed? Would you take it? Most likely not, you seemed too professional. I thanked you as much as I could. But I want the world to know, okay, just my world, that you are my HERO! And to make it all the more dramatic, my unborn child's hero as well. Thank you!

My Emotions

OK... firstly, I love you guys. Yes, you. All the support and loving vibes... Thank you! Of course I am so excited and so far so good. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts. =)
As most of you have experienced personally when you become pregnant, your emotions can become a little... eratic. Do you want to hear about mine?
As in just last week I was coming down the stairs... now the other side effect of pregnancy is the tenderness. As in the 'girls'. That's all I will explain, guys read this. So coming down the stairs and with every step ow, ow, ow, ow. By the end of the stairs I was crying... seriously tearing up. Ave was sitting on the couch as I walked over to him he looked up from his homework and asked, "Are you okay?" And I just start crying about how I hurt but it really isn't that big a deal, and I don't know why I'm crying but I am, and I'm sad and don't know why. Ave just watched with amusement and then told me to "Come here." I curled up next to him and after a minute all was back to normal. ???
Last night we had game night with some friends. Just to elaborate our game nights do not consist of board games. We have a gaming night. We end up with three x-boxes, two tvs, a projector, and lot's of Halo/Rainbow Six/Gears of War. Game night. We were there until late, but I was starting to get really tired. Luckily we had driven seperately so I went home with Ave saying he'd be coming after they beat this level on Halo Wars. I was so excited to see my bed and crashed. Other side effect... having to get up a few times a night. Not fun... nothing usually wakes me.
True story, I slept through a fire alarm, not safe, but sleeping has never been an issue for me, until now. So at 4:00 AM I roll over to get up and Avery is still not home! Pregnancy emotions=full blown panic. I text him, then call... several times. Then I call my girlfriend who's house we were at to see if they were all still there. But nobody answers. I get dressed and sit in bed trying to decide the best way to ask the hospital if they have received any car accident victims lately. I'm trying just to think of the possibilities, but they are all bad. If for some reason he decided to sleep over, he would have called right? Maybe I should just wait until morning to see if he comes home, but then he could be in the ditch all night and I would never forgive myself. If he was still playing he would answer his phone. I start tearing up. The longest 15 minutes of my life later, my friend texts me and says they are still trying to beat this level and he will be home right after. I start bawling, no kidding. Why? No clue. I get undressed and back in bed but can't fall back asleep. Ave texts 10 minutes later to tell me he is on his way home now. I've calmed down enough when he gets home that I just acknowledge him being alive as "Good to know." Ave apologizes for making me worry. And I comment a call could've avoided all the drama of me almost calling the hospitals and driving around looking for the car off a cliff. "Really, Jenn, really?" Ok, next time I'll wait a couple days before I start to wonder, hmmm, I haven't seen my husband maybe I should start worrying. He responds with I knew he playing, I knew where he was.
"Yeah, three hours ago! I had no idea you would still be there at this hour."
Okay, irrational, yes, do I realize this at the time, probably. Doesn't make it any less real!
He tells me good night and I ask for a hug. He then reassures me he's okay, everything's okay. Then I sleep. ???
In the morning light it's all ridiculous. What is my deal?
But I am not complaining... I could go crazy tomorrow and still be thrilled. We're going to have a baby!!!